Although I never gave birth, a daughter is a particularly special relationship for
a father. We are their first male role model…their first protector.
Eventually they grow up and move on, but for awhile you get to be their everything.
This weekend I walked my daughter down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams.
Becca met her husband-to-be at the University of Maine. They were in the same Thermodynamics
course. Before she found out his name, she called him ThermoGuy. She found out later
his name was Nate DeRocher.
Within a few months they were an item. After a few years she called me at work to
say that he had proposed to her on the top of Mt Washington.
She said yes.
They decided to have their ceremony on the top of Wildcat Mountain, which overlooks
Mt Washington, and is breathtaking. It is also where they vacationed, renting a
condo when they were newly employed engineers. They have their own memories of the
North Conway area, and we all showed up this weekend to wish them a fantastic future.
Leading up to the wedding the details were intense. Getting 100 people to the top
of the mountain, coordinating cakes, DJ’s, a photographer, flowers, guest lists.
Becca and Nate organized it like the engineers they are…checklists, logistics
sessions, texts, emails.
But at the heart of it all were two people in love, ready to give it their best.
We rode up a gondola to have the ceremony at the top of the mountain. At 4,000 feet,
the colors were beautiful, and so was the bride. They were surrounded by people
that loved them, that really, honestly wished them the best.
Becca, two of her best friends, and I rode up on the final gondola. As she told
me the game plan once we got to the top, we turned around to see the White Mountains….a
thick veil of mist muting the brilliant fall colors.
Pictures of the mountains never do them justice.
Becca’s make up was beautiful, and I was glad to see that it did not cover her freckles.
There is a car ad that I have seen before where a little 6 or 7 year old girl is
sitting at the wheel, and you hear a father saying ” now be careful and make sure
to wear your seat belt” The picture cuts to the father and then back to the daughter
who is actually in her late teens and kind of rolling her eyes at her father’s overprotectiveness.
If you young men want to know how it feels to have a daughter, I’m gonna tell you
to watch that.
…Pretty much nails it.
She wrote me a poem one time in her early teens. I still carry it in my wallet:
I’m a little rose
A red one I suppose
Petals just beginning to
Unfold and see the morning dew
I started as a bud so small
In time I’ll become very tall
But for now I’m in between
The awkward stage that’s known as “teen”
An adolescent facing storms
Of foul weather in all its forms
Scorching heat by far the worst
But rain can always quench my thirst
And you are my magic water
My loving, healing, teaching father
You’ve given me the knowledge that I need
To grow a flower from a seed
In days to come I’ll bloom strong and bold
And then one day I’ll become old
At my last sunset as I wilt I will know
That my Dad was the one who helped me grow
So Becca, this is the part where you are blooming strong and bold
Nate is by your side and together you will face storms you don’t even know yet.
So when the weather lets up, take time to smell the roses.
Becca and Nate organized a great reception. Friends and family danced, played games,
and they kicked us out at 10:30–7 hours after the ceremony began. There was a shoe
game, a bunch of dances, lots of music, a few adult beverages and two very special
The night before the wedding, instead of having a rehearsal dinner and a bachelor/bachelorette
party, they decided to bring the bridal party to mystery rooms. I don’t know if
you have heard of these, but basically they lock a bunch of people in a room that
has a theme. Using clues they find in the room, they unlock the door to get out.
When they first told me about it, I worried that if they didn’t get the clues right,
they might never get out. As it turns out, they let you out after an hour even if
you don’t get the locks undone.
I think that should be a mandatory thing for all couples expecting to marry. For
those of you in a long term relationship, I hope you can give me an “Amen” to that.
I mean C’mon, what would be a better way to tell if your potential partner was going
to be an asset or just the first 3 letters in the word if you are locked in a room
and can’t get out. Life leaves you with so many locked rooms, the key to any good
relationship is probably the ability to solve that together. If your partner-to-be
complains that the clues aren’t fair, or they don’t get enough time, or they get
tangled up in their own drama…wouldn’t that be a pretty good indicator of how
it was going to go for the next few decades?
I didn’t ask Becca how her team did. I know she came out of the mystery room with
the same googly eyes for Nate as she had when she went in…I guess at the end of
the day it matters more that you had a good time trying to get out of the locked
Funny thing at the end of the night though. When I went to settle up the bar bill,
I told the bartender to add another drink for the bride and groom. She looked at
me incredulously and said, “So, you want another double bourbon for your daughter?”
Well, that question knocked me off guard a little.
Do I want another double bourbon for my daughter?
That is certainly a good question.
Becca drinks bourbon?
“Actually, she switched earlier in the evening from Scotch” said the bartender
The wedding party emptied the first bottle.
OK, I did not see that coming.
Wait, I thought I was the magic water…..
Have a great week and pop onto my Facebook to
see some pictures of the bride and groom.
I’m so proud of them.
Have a great week
P.S. Thank you for helping our team raise over $7000 for the Bangor Humane Society
at Paws on Parade!!!!